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Sunday, September 21st, 2008
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shame on myself for allowing my social life to distract me from school work.
currently looking for a new place to live. as much as i love living with my parents, its not fair for them to have to deal with me stumbling home at 4 am every other night. i dont even know if i still have a job? started working in a cafe in chelsea and like it very much, hope i am still employed.
also, i'd like to mention that i am the queen of settling. i'm mad at myself because it looks like i'm not stopping anytime soon. need to climb out of this hole before i realize whats really going on.
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Sunday, August 10th, 2008
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this trip is entirely about me
i need to get my shit together before school starts
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Tuesday, August 5th, 2008
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| Time: | 3:51 pm. |
| Mood: |  bored. | | Music: | miley cyrus. |
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there was no chance at saving it.normally i would be happy with just the comfort of knowing that this failed relationship wasnt my fault. i suppose i should be, but this time its different. i'm just upset that there are people like you out there. i'm sick of putting myself out there with the hopes of finding someone sincere and worthwhile. i'm sick of it because it always backfires, and people just seem to be so into themselves that they dont know what consideration even means anymore. when its brought up in conversation it seems to draw a blank expression on most faces. regardless i've always been a very forgiving person, especially for those who do not deserve a second chance. i've always had high hopes for those who have betrayed me for reasons i do not know. i suppose i just want to see good in everyone since it seems unnatural when people are cruel and drawn only to themselves.
it just kills me when people dont realize how they're behaving, since they appparently expect the world from me and never commend my efforts.
i cant deny that i have made at least one good friend this year, whom i love dearly. he knows who he is, and he is greatly respected for being so considerate and giving me hopes that not all people are selfish shits.
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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
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i have to admit that i forgot all about this page up until someone recently brought it up in conversation. this once was my life, writing anything and everything to lure a handful of viewers whose opinions meant too much to me. i have not sat down and put a pen to paper in pretty much years, and this is probably why i feel so much congestion in my mind. Writing can be easily underestimated, especially since its become such a fad. on top of that other people's reactions to the things i posted became more important than what i thought at one point, so it was easy to use the excuse that writing had become unappealing and lacked what made it so charming in the first place. i feel like i missed out on alot of poise, which i desperately needed at times. this mostly pertains to social situations. its not as if i was foul-mouthed or lost my cool, it was just that pretty much nothing that came out of me would be something i could fully stand by. i could even be considered a hypocrite at times because apparently i was caught saying one thing and then the other. i do not understand why this happened, and why i lost touch with such a basic ability, one that i once was known for. being proud and opinionated was who kathleen was, standing by everything that slipped out of her mouth. it could even be said that my responses were lazy and not thought out to their potential.i've lost touch with alot of traits that defined me just a few years back, mostly good but plenty of bad as well. this is not something i have figured out yet, in fact i'm not even in the ballpark with this. i can say that i am bettering it, and have been able to call myself out on it quite a few times. things that are under appreciated are usually the things that haunt you in the future, leaving you with more stress that you could ever register just because you chose not to appreciate it.
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Saturday, April 5th, 2008
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Thursday, February 28th, 2008
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i am really impressed with my selection of friends nowadays. it took a while to get here but i am finally happy and comfortable with my circle. now i dont feel like my friends are doing shitty things behind my back and acting like its perfectly fine. in fact, overall my life is pretty much intact. im going to hunter in the fall to save some money, i am happy with my social life, and i just feel content when i wake up in the morning. i cant even remember the last time i felt this way
-kathleen
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Saturday, February 23rd, 2008
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life is good, this year is great, i love everything
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Thursday, January 31st, 2008
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| Time: | 9:00 pm. |
| Music: | pioneer to the falls. |
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and after a while, you just forget it all
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Sunday, December 9th, 2007
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Wednesday, September 26th, 2007
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things have been going pretty well. high school flew by, i cannot believe i am already a senior. though i also feel like it should be over with since all of my friends are officially in college (aside from chlo)
i went to prague, which was beautiful now that i think back. i was not really impressed while there because i was really sick and was not doing anything to mentally tame that sickness. i was ill for more than half of my trip, but i find myself almost regularly looing at pictures i took this summer and missing it. i appreciate my housing spending so much time with me and making me feel comfortable. i love new york, its my genuine home, but things are not looking up as of now. they have "twitched" a littl for a while but just sunk right down fast enough to not even take notice. i am still not feeling too hot, and am trying to figure out how to "fix" it. there arent many options that i can look into at this point, we will see how things go from here on...
i have finally picked up a hobby, which is drawing. it is a class i take this year, and seem to actually feel something from it. not just, as best described, a flat buzz from this hobby. i am hoping to get a professional camera this christmas and perhaps start something up with that too.
college and universities have been hanging around the back of my head too. i am still uncertain as to where i want to go, i am praying that my SAT scores do show noteable improvement.
i keep forgetting that i have gov't homework to do.
and fun as Booth is to look at, his class is dreadfully boring. i do not look foward to having him for the rest of this year.
cheers,
keeks
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Thursday, September 20th, 2007
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Saturday, September 1st, 2007
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Saturday, August 25th, 2007
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finally, here i come!
hopefully the layover flight from munich will pull through, i only have 40 mins to switch planes.
other than that i am psyched and will not miss ny!
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Wednesday, July 18th, 2007
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Saturday, July 14th, 2007
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Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
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these mood swings are full blown killers
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ms_grabowska's journal
calm.
happy.
giggly.
